So many dildos, so little time
Silicone. Among the highest quality dildos, many women love silicone for its lifelike feel and ability to retain body heat. Non-porous and easy to clean (dishwasher safe/top rack!), they can last for years. They’re mostly hypoallergenic, too. Just watch out for cracks or cuts that may develop that can harbor germs. And since silicone cannot be repaired, be prepared to retire your ol’ buddy if he should ever tear.

Latex. You’ll find latex rubber dildos everywhere, but they also have their limitations. Not as lifelike and firm as silicone, they still serve their purpose well. Be sure to clean up thoroughly, as latex is porous and can harbor germs. People who like this material, but have allergic reactions to latex, might find pleasure in jelly or silicone dildos.

Jelly. A popular innovation of the nineties, jellies come in a playful array of bright, semi-translucent colors. Jellies are less expensive than most other dildos, a bit more delicate, and porous—so wash them with adult toy cleanser or warm soapy water after each use.

Lifelike. Soft and fleshy, with a feeling of real human skin, these new-generation materials are a true delight. They require extra care to keep clean because of their porous material, but are well worth having in your treasure collection. Also, store them apart from other toys: when left in direct contact, the composition can degrade.

Acrylic. Do you like your dildos HARD? Then a plastic or acrylic dildo is for you. They’re easy to clean because they’re non-porous, and enable you to reach your G-spot and anal erogenous zones with an abundance of pressure.
Vinyl. Basic, reliable and affordable, what vinyl lacks in flexibility it makes up in durability. Available in just a few colors, including a little pink version ideal for anal play, it’s thankfully non-porous and easy to clean.

Glass. At first thought, glass may seem like an odd choice. But wait till you see what’s available today! Glass dildos come in a wide variety of vivid colors and creative shapes—some with exotic liquids inside that glow in the dark. Built to last a lifetime by the craftsmen who make glass pipes, they’re similar in hardness to acrylics, and designed for both vaginal and anal pleasure. They’re hypo-allergenic, non-porous and dishwasher safe—and retain warmth and coolness. They’re pricier, but worth every penny.

Metal. A rare find today for experienced toy enthusiasts and collectors. Cool to the touch, metal dildos slowly warm up with use. Be extra careful moving around with a metal toy inside you, as you can bruise your tailbone or pelvic bone with any quick, jarring motions.

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Porous or non-porous, that is the question. Sex toys made of porous materials (such as latex rubber) can be soft like your skin, but also need to be kept extra clean. If not, bacteria and viruses can live in the tiny openings (pores) on the surface. Porous toys are also known to absorb lube quickly, so you’ll have to apply it more frequently.
Sex toys made of non-porous materials (such as silicone or glass) offer smooth surfaces, and have no pores where germs can hide. This makes them easier to keep clean, however you should always clean your toys after each use. A little lube goes a long way with non-porous toys.

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Dildos: non-vibrating toys, made in many different shapes and sizes, used for vaginal and anal penetration as well as clitoral stroking.
How long have dildos been around? 100 years? 200 years? A millennium? Think again, because they’ve been in use as long as women have had a sex drive. You’ll see dildos depicted in ancient art, and history shows they were created and adored by women in many cultures, from Greece to China, India and beyond.

A dildo (or dong) describes any toy designed to be inserted vaginally or anally. Dildos don’t vibrate, so if it takes a battery, it’s not a dildo (although some vibrators look phallic and are designed for insertion). Today, they come in a variety of lengths, shapes, diameters and colors—a far cry from the one large Caucasian replica that dominated dildo sales for years. Heck, you can even get a dildo today that glows in the dark!

For solo ecstasy, dildos are fun, simple and safe—offering you the greatest amount of control, for you and only you determine the degree and angle of penetration, thrusting speed and all other creative uses. And with the added pressure and sexual fullness they provide, they’re the best for earth-shaking vaginal orgasms. As you’ll see later in this book, you can also use one in tandem with a vibrator, creating nearly unlimited possibilities for orgasms.
Dildos open up many exciting options for partner sex, too. And since penetration isn’t a dildos only purpose, you can enjoy intense pleasure when your lover positions it for friction across your clitoris, down between the labia and just inside the vaginal opening. With an added dab of lube, you’ll quickly be in toy orgasm heaven!

With so many choices today, you’ll find all the advice you need in this chapter to narrow them down to your favorites. You can then leaf through a catalog or visit an online sex shop—or take a field trip to a local sex boutique. Some shops display samples outside their packages, perfect for an up-close touch-test—so you can choose the toy that’s got the texture, heft and flexibility (or stiffness) to fan your flames.

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Lubricants Of Love
If you’ve never tried sexual lubricants (“lube”), or haven’t used the slippery stuff in a while, you’re in for a treat. Lubricants help you enhance your sexual ecstasy without any risk—and they cost next to nothing.
Whether you’re self-pleasuring, using a toy, or engaging in passionate intercourse, lubrication increases your sensitivity by creating smoother, slipperier surfaces wherever you choose to apply it. Slathered on sex toys, they become safer and easier to use. On your lover, you’ll discover a new level of ecstasy. And on your own erogenous zones, you’ll find yourself on the ceiling!

Sex lubricants come in two main varieties: water- or silicone-based. Here are the advantages of each:

Water-Based Lubes
Similar to the feel of natural vaginal fluids, you can find water-based lubes in a variety of consistencies, from liquid to jelly. Liquid varieties are ideal for all-around play, while jellies tend to have more lasting power for extended encounters. However, they may not last long enough for anal pleasure. Water-based lubes are ideal to use with condoms. There are also flavored varieties for use during oral sex. Water-based lubes rarely irritate, and wash easily out of sheets, bedspreads and auto upholstery! Toy clean-up is easy, too. And as for you, it’s an easy wash-off with a wet wash cloth.

Silicone-Based Lubes
A super-slippery lube, silicone lasts and lasts for longer friction-free fun. This makes it ideal for in-the-water sex or anal play. It’s also compatible with safer-sex practices, such as condoms or latex gloves. Because it doesn’t break down in water, though, your shower or tub surfaces could become slippery. Be sure to use cautiously and clean up thoroughly.

Warning! Never use household products as lubricant! Petroleum jelly, massage oil, hand lotion and cooking oil are awful choices for lube, because they aren’t made to go inside your body, can cause infections and will also break down latex condoms.

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Recover from pregnancy quicker. Perform daily Kegel exercises to tighten up the pelvic floor muscles to get you back into multiple orgasmic shape!
If you’re more comfortable without penetration, there’s a wealth of vibrators today for you to use topically. Choose the one that will accommodate any new sensitivities you’re feeling during pregnancy. If your desire for sex has declined during this time, a vibrator may be just the ticket for you and your lover.

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You don’t have to give up your sexual pleasures. Just observe a few simple lovemaking rules to ensure the safety of you and your baby. Start by asking your physician. Don’t be embarrassed—you wouldn’t be there in the first place if not for sex!
Intercourse, as well as dildos and insertable vibrators, are generally safe during low-risk pregnancies as long as you’re careful not to harm the opening of the cervix at the back of the vaginal canal. Use plenty of lubricant (see next chapter), and make sure your toys are ultra-clean. You’re okay to climax, too—as often as you like! It’s a myth that this will induce premature labor. Orgasms during pregnancy can help calm cramping and bloating, relieve headaches and help you sleep better.

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Whether you’re planning for a solitary experience—or one shared with a partner—a few simple steps can help you get comfortable to free your mind and body.

Set the stage. Disconnect your phone, cellular or pager. Accent your surroundings to create just the right ambiance. And be sure to gather any visual and sexual aids on your romantic menu within arm’s reach.

Sound. Select the music to match your mood: slow and romantic for sexy and sensual; upbeat for pump-it-up action. Flip in a long-playing CD so you won’t be interrupted by mood-busting commercials on the radio.

Candles and lighting. Nothing beats a soft glow for romantic ambiance. Light the candles—and dim the lights.

Temperature. Warmer air may ignite your passions, but cooler air might increase your sensitivity. Choose accordingly.

Aroma. Scented candles, perfumes, flowers or incense can provide intimate, subtle aromas to heighten the senses. Just don’t overdo it.

Location location location. Don’t limit yourself to the bed or couch—playing in the bathtub or shower adds spice!

Entertainment. Videos, magazines, erotic literature or Internet sites can all accompany toy play with great visuals for titillation or fantasy.

Privacy. For heaven’s sake, put the kids to bed… and make sure they’re asleep! Don’t let an innocent request for ‘a glass of water’ mess up your well-deserved orgasm.

Talk it up. Don’t be shy to whisper sweet dirty nothings to your partner!

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The female body is one of nature’s most beautiful works of art. Soft, curvy, sensual, erotic. Regrettably, many women aren’t really acquainted with their very own masterpiece. Yet simply by becoming comfortable with your own touch-sensitive areas—and understanding a little more about them—you’ll quickly enhance your own pleasure, sensually and sexually.

Because a male’s genitals are external—and deliver pure primal ‘motivation’ all day long—guys tend to be self-proclaimed experts on their own sexual anatomy. Let’s just see how much you guys really know:

Shaft. It’s made up of two sections of spongy erectile tissue and blood vessels, plus a third section that extends to the tip of the penis. To create an erection, these tissues fill with blood.

Glans. The most sensitive part of the penis, the glans (“head”) contains the greatest number of nerve endings, making it very similar to the clitoris in women. At the bottom edge of the glans is the frenulum, which connects the glans to the shaft, and has many nerve endings which produce pleasure for men during stroking.

Testicles. This is where testosterone and sperm are produced. Located inside the scrotum (“sack”), these two organs are best handled delicately, though some men find gentle stretching or tugging to be pleasurable.

Prostate. This is the organ that produces the ejaculatory fluid, which later mixes with sperm to make semen. It is located below the bladder and behind the pubic bone, and can be stimulated through the anus. A pleasure center in men, many can climax from direct prostate stimulation.

Anus. The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings and can evoke significant pleasure for men. While some men consider anal stimulation to be unnatural or only okay for women, others discover it can provide many new sensations and orgasms.

Perenium. Extending from the back of the scrotum to the front of the anus, the perineum is often overlooked as an erogenous zone that merits exploration. Also known as the ‘taint.’

Nipples. A man’s nipples can be every bit as sensitive as a woman’s, and many men enjoy gentle sucking, stroking or pinching from their partners.

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Erogenous Zones are areas of the human body that can be sexually arousing when touched and caressed, either by your partner or by yourself.

Do you know your most powerful sex organ? Look up. It’s your brain. It’s where your body receives its most powerful sexual signals, such as attitudes, desires and fantasies. In short, your turn-ons—and your turn-offs. Often gaining a better understanding about your body can turn off a hang-up forever—leaving you freer to explore and enjoy your own sexuality

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Yes, the sensations and vibrations of another object in bed with you can be a bit unusual the first time, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything amiss. What could be amiss is that you didn’t discuss your desire to bring a toy into bed before the lovemaking began. A gentle conversation about the subject, perhaps eased with a glass of wine and the glow of candlelight can actually inspire the desire you were seeking.

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Humans are built for sex; toys are designed for foreplay and fun, or extending the lovemaking after intercourse. So the answer is yes, she will still want you, and now, probably more.

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You are a great lover. If that’s anything but total truth, toys will help—not hurt—your sexual confidence. Do any of these fears sound familiar?

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I know you guys can get just as antsy about introducing sex toys. But once you overcome your hesitation, you may soon discover intimate pleasures you’ve only dreamed about. And toys offer many other benefits, too:

You increase your sexual mastery. If you want to be a bigger star in bed, a toy can help you raise the volume of your partner’s orgasms, making her climax easier, more often, and with much greater intensity.

You add variety to your lovemaking. Toys give you a new means to satisfy your partner. They’re not competition for your hands, penis and tongue, they simply give you a new way to pleasure your partner that will drive her wild and make her crave you more often.

You gain new steam. Toys let you continue pleasing your lover after you’ve been totally satisfied—easily, passionately, completely.

You earn more appreciation and affection. When you focus on her pleasure, you’ll get a lot more in return.

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